Pizza Boxes And Rubberbands
by Nata
Summary: I didn't know where else to put this, but it's sorta written about a monolouge I once used for an audition. (Note. I'm not sane. Really. :D!)


You know, I've always wondered what it would be like to be insane. I mean, not the kind of freak that kills everybody they see 'cause the voices in their heads tell them too, but the cool kind. If there is such a thing. I wouldn't know, because, well, I'm ... sane. I think. I guess. Maybe you don't know if you're insane. Maybe you can go about your whole life thinking that you might be - but you're never sure. That would be odd. Because, then, what if you knew you were insane? Then what would you be? What if everyone else who people said were sane, and you knew you weren't. And if everybody else did, too. What would that make you? I don't know, because - like I said - I'm sane. How weird. I don't know. At least, I think I'm sane. If I were insane, how would I tell? What would I have to base it on? The people you see on TV that are insane always sit in white rooms or kill people in strange, obscure ways. As far as I know, I don't do that. But maybe if I were insane I wouldn't realize I was killing people and sitting in white rooms with a straight jacket. I doubt it.   
  
My living room is white, though. Maybe that's what it is. The color of your living room defining your sanity. That would be bad, though, because everybody has a different color of their living room. Even people who started out at the same time. Like, a lady with a red room is a different kind of insane than another lady with a red room because she's had her living room red for a longer time than the other lady so it's a different shade of red. Maybe every single color of living room has a different type of insanity attached to it. That would get confusing, don't you think? Maybe. I'm not sure. Because maybe that's how it is already and we just don't realize it. Maybe now we're all insane and we've fooled ourselves into thinking that we're perfectly sane. That would be very strange. Because we probably don't even realize half of the things we do. Or, maybe we realize them but then we forget them after we do them. That might make sense.   
  
That's another thing about insanity. People who're insane - or, at least I think they are. Maybe the insane ones are really the sane ones whilst all the people I think are sane are really the insane ones. Anyway, the people who're insane always seem to forget it when they do insane things. That's probably bad. Because if they could remember what they did that was insane, then maybe we could tell what was what and then we'd know what was insane and what wasn't. That would be nice. But since they always forget what they've done, that can't happen. Maybe someday somebody who's insane'll be able to remember what he or she did. But then, people wouldn't believe him or her because they think that all insane people can't remember what they do that's insane and they'll think he or she's sane, too. That might have happened before except we don't realize it because we think they're sane because they can remember.   
  
What if you know you're insane; and don't want to tell everyone else that you think so, because then they'll start to think you're insane, too. Then they might put you in a mental institution or whatever they have on TV and you'll have to stay there talking to the doctors, or something. Then, if you remember the insane things you did, they'll just say that you're making it up because you're insane. Maybe that's happened before, too. Maybe that's why people say sanity is overrated. Because it's too confusing. If everybody what one person was insane; then how would we be able to tell which one person was sane? If we're all insane, maybe we wouldn't be able to tell the difference between people, and then they'd all get mixed up. Then the one sane person might start to think that they're insane, too, and they'd act like everybody else. Except, only that one person would be able to remember what they did. Then everyone else would believe them because they're all insane and don't realize that insane people don't remember what they do that's insane!   
  
I've heard that insane people like to talk to things that aren't there. Or shouldn't talk back. Maybe that's why they're insane, because the things that don't talk back to sane people are very interesting and have much better conversations than the sane ones. That would be very sad, because then all the sane people would be missing out on those interesting conversations and have no reason to be insane. And then that would make the insane people even more insane than they already are, because the sane people don't even know that innanimate objects could have very interesting things to say. And they don't want to talk to them because they're so boring. Then, they wouldn't just be seperated by insanity and sanity; but because insane people want to stay away from sane people because they're so boring and dull and have stupid conversations. Asking how the insane people are, and what not. I'd hate to think that I'm sane and missing out on all those interesting things.   
  
I should think a doorknob might have some very interesting things to say. They come in contact with some many different kinds of people! Maybe the sane ones don't stop to tlak to them, but at least the insane ones that they talk to would have talked to other doorknobs and such, and spread the intersesting things that -they- know. Like, if there were one really big, main door that everyone likes to use. Who would they see? Insane people from all around the world, coming to use their doorknob and tell all sorts of stories about adventures and things that only insane people would know about. I think I'd like that. Maybe I could tell the doorknob that I'm insane, too, and then it could tell me all those things. That would help me know if I'm insane or not! That would be nice. Because I might be the only person who actually knows whether I'm insane or not! If you don't know if you're insane, then I think you might be missing out. You wouldn't appreciate your uniqueness!  
  
I think talking to pizza boxes and rubberbands would be rather neat!  
  
Unless everybody's insane and we don't realize it. We call ourselves sane; but what if we're really, truly insane? Then what would the people we think are insane be? Are they the one's who're really sane? That means we would have been completely wrong for years and years and unless somebody figures out what we're doing that's insane; we'll keep thinking wrong for years and years to come! That might be better, though, because at least we wouldn't be confused. People don't like being confused. If they are, they can't be sure of themselves and then they get into an awful dither and get on people's nerves. I don't like it when that happens. It just upsets everyone. Wouldn't it be nice if no one ever got confused, and people knew that they were insane or sane? I think I'd like that. But maybe it's only sane people who don't like havoc and trouble.   
  
But I don't know. Because I'm not insane.   
  
I think. 


End file.
